So having a baby changes you. It changed me to want to be a better role model, to want to display the best the world has to offer. I have become motivated to retry foods I hate, to turn the TV off and play with rice and snow in containers :-)
Bizarrely though I am slowly realizing what other parents must have known for years, frustratingly little of what my daughter is exposed to and is influenced by, can be controlled by me. My biggest bug bear at the moment is the obsessive desire to feed lily (6.5 months old) chocolate or cake or biscuit. when I say not yet you can see that they don't want to wait and I've been called cruel and treated as if I'm weird for this, but I don't think I'm cruel.
you see the thought of food as a treat is something I've long battled with. For years we've been told how bad junky food is for us on both a personal and global scale. we know we must limit our intake of sugars and certain fats. As such it might seem very sensible to discuss certain foods as treats. I guess the implication being one of rarity. But all too often these foods are very much available, encouraged and used, as a pick me up, celebration or social activity (guilty as charged). The trouble being that calling it a treat, makes it more desirable especially as the very nature of implying rarity makes it seem more needed whenever offered.
"As its unusual, who knows when I might get something like this again? I better take it while I can."
Even this in itself wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that it isn't rare because food is used for everything, if you're sad have a cake if you're celebrating have a take away if you're making new friends take food, if its 5 o'clock, if its Wednesday, if its raining...well you get my drift.
wouldn't it make sense for good food to be treated as a treat? sometimes that would mean a nice home made cake or similar but sometimes that could mean home cooked shepherds pie or a Cajun chicken salad etc
or why cant food be food and a treat a separate thing? so treats could include magazines, or books or games or time to play etc food would be food and would be enjoyable anyway and once old enough children can be taught about nutritional requirements and tasty pleasurable ways to meet them.
BUT...and its a big one. this isn't going to happen for Lily. I'm always battling this thought process for myself but even if I don't screw it up I know that others are going to teach lily (albeit incorrectly in my view) that cake, chocolate etc is a treat and that if you don't have it you are being good and healthy but you are also being denied something wonderful.
But what's so wonderful about sugar, fat, and salt at unhealthy levels??
what on earth is wrong with wanting to protect my daughter from this unhealthy thinking for as long as possible?
peace out,
mummy cat x
Friday 1 March 2013
Thursday 8 September 2011
Hello to 14 year old me....
A friend on twitter today asked people what advice they would give their 14/15 year old self. This got me thinking. So I decided to blog a letter to my 14 year old self! So here goes...
Cat,
You probably don't recognise me but I have a lot to share with you. You are beautiful. You don't know it yet but God is real and he is your heavenly father. he made you to be strong and beautiful. He knows everything that you are going through and have endured already. You are not alone in any of this.
Life isn't easy and it might never be- but who wants people to say about them after they died that they had an easy or comfortable life. Life should be an adventure. You have a roller coaster ahead of you Cat! you're life will be tough at times - you are going to experience pain, but - and I can't believe I'm going to say this - that's ok! you aren't alone in any of this, even when you feel entirely alone. I don't want to tell you too much about the bad times yet to come, because they are the times that will shape you into who you are, but you do get through the next few years and you aren't a bad person.
Don't place too much importance on finding other people who fancy you or spend too much time trying to impress people so they'll "like" you. Often they aren't worth the time. You won't feel this alone forever, friendship is important but true friendship is much easier than you think and it will come in abundance, at the right time.
Your parents are doing (as Savage garden put it) "the best job they know how to". Try not to be too harsh on them, but remember that there are other people in your life who can and will help you out when it all gets too much!
by the way - your sister is lovely, honest! talk to her more!!
Finally,
that thing that you fear, you know, the one that you have pretty much accepted - that doesn't happen, that doesn't come true. Then again that big dream of yours - well that hasn't happened either - at least not yet, but I'm only 25 so who knows...?
take care of yourself, give yourself a big hug! you are worth it!,
your older self x
wow! well there we go! I've got no idea what I would have done if I had received that at 14??
Hope you're all well!,
kitten out x
Cat,
You probably don't recognise me but I have a lot to share with you. You are beautiful. You don't know it yet but God is real and he is your heavenly father. he made you to be strong and beautiful. He knows everything that you are going through and have endured already. You are not alone in any of this.
Life isn't easy and it might never be- but who wants people to say about them after they died that they had an easy or comfortable life. Life should be an adventure. You have a roller coaster ahead of you Cat! you're life will be tough at times - you are going to experience pain, but - and I can't believe I'm going to say this - that's ok! you aren't alone in any of this, even when you feel entirely alone. I don't want to tell you too much about the bad times yet to come, because they are the times that will shape you into who you are, but you do get through the next few years and you aren't a bad person.
Don't place too much importance on finding other people who fancy you or spend too much time trying to impress people so they'll "like" you. Often they aren't worth the time. You won't feel this alone forever, friendship is important but true friendship is much easier than you think and it will come in abundance, at the right time.
Your parents are doing (as Savage garden put it) "the best job they know how to". Try not to be too harsh on them, but remember that there are other people in your life who can and will help you out when it all gets too much!
by the way - your sister is lovely, honest! talk to her more!!
Finally,
that thing that you fear, you know, the one that you have pretty much accepted - that doesn't happen, that doesn't come true. Then again that big dream of yours - well that hasn't happened either - at least not yet, but I'm only 25 so who knows...?
take care of yourself, give yourself a big hug! you are worth it!,
your older self x
wow! well there we go! I've got no idea what I would have done if I had received that at 14??
Hope you're all well!,
kitten out x
Monday 15 August 2011
well - it's been a riot...
sorry about the title, couldn't resist.
I know it's been a while since I last wrote, I've been busy socialising and the my forge blog has taken off.
I'm so lucky to have the job I have for many many reasons.
1) I love it! few can say that!
2) Summer hols, yeah I know there's a few of you probably groaning out there but, I really do try and use this time to catch up on those little jobs that I've been putting off, and more importantly to catch up with people and build on my friendships with others! So important!
3) I am so privileged because I get to work with young people. These people have charisma and energy and life. these are people who I feel honoured to get to know. They have talents and knowledge, that quite often seems to far outweigh their years. This brings me to another point. The riots!
A lot has been written about last weeks events. A lot of it has been written by people who are far brighter and much more clued up than I. Therefore I'm gonna stick to writing about what I know. I feel very strongly that the government and the media want to convince us that the damage was only caused by hooded youths. I would like to point out that this was clearly not the case.
It looks to me like it turned into a free for all because of the psychology involved in the situation. People can do this, people sometimes get whatever they can for themselves. People can get greedy, people convince themselves that if others are getting something then they should too, no matter what the consequences, check out Hardins "tragedy of the commons". Then there's the overwhelming feeling of safety that we get when in a crowd - we feel somehow invisible, also known as deindividuation.
I'm not saying that the individuals involved are blameless, far from it we each have a choice in what we do. But the individual young people that I work with every week (in term time :-p ) often seem...lost! to be honest. They're working hard, but what for? as they don't have any hope of a future? their hopes were smashed long ago. Often, their "family" alternative, are the gangs of other youngsters that they hang around with and so acceptance as part of these friendship groups becomes all consuming. They are so important because everyone else has let them down at some point along the way. So yeah, when their friends start getting stuff that they feel they should get too - because it's each to their own and life sucks a lot of the time - and they can get away with it - they're going to get in there too!
but what is really saddening me now, is that due to those few stupid moments, a lot of young people are having those final shreds of hope for a future removed. They're not all - the "monsters" we're trying to make out they are. Dehumanising those involved and giving knee - jerk judgements, doesn't equate to justice in my book, and justice is so important.
The Simpsons sum it up for me:-
I know it's been a while since I last wrote, I've been busy socialising and the my forge blog has taken off.
I'm so lucky to have the job I have for many many reasons.
1) I love it! few can say that!
2) Summer hols, yeah I know there's a few of you probably groaning out there but, I really do try and use this time to catch up on those little jobs that I've been putting off, and more importantly to catch up with people and build on my friendships with others! So important!
3) I am so privileged because I get to work with young people. These people have charisma and energy and life. these are people who I feel honoured to get to know. They have talents and knowledge, that quite often seems to far outweigh their years. This brings me to another point. The riots!
A lot has been written about last weeks events. A lot of it has been written by people who are far brighter and much more clued up than I. Therefore I'm gonna stick to writing about what I know. I feel very strongly that the government and the media want to convince us that the damage was only caused by hooded youths. I would like to point out that this was clearly not the case.
It looks to me like it turned into a free for all because of the psychology involved in the situation. People can do this, people sometimes get whatever they can for themselves. People can get greedy, people convince themselves that if others are getting something then they should too, no matter what the consequences, check out Hardins "tragedy of the commons". Then there's the overwhelming feeling of safety that we get when in a crowd - we feel somehow invisible, also known as deindividuation.
I'm not saying that the individuals involved are blameless, far from it we each have a choice in what we do. But the individual young people that I work with every week (in term time :-p ) often seem...lost! to be honest. They're working hard, but what for? as they don't have any hope of a future? their hopes were smashed long ago. Often, their "family" alternative, are the gangs of other youngsters that they hang around with and so acceptance as part of these friendship groups becomes all consuming. They are so important because everyone else has let them down at some point along the way. So yeah, when their friends start getting stuff that they feel they should get too - because it's each to their own and life sucks a lot of the time - and they can get away with it - they're going to get in there too!
but what is really saddening me now, is that due to those few stupid moments, a lot of young people are having those final shreds of hope for a future removed. They're not all - the "monsters" we're trying to make out they are. Dehumanising those involved and giving knee - jerk judgements, doesn't equate to justice in my book, and justice is so important.
The Simpsons sum it up for me:-
Lisa: No, you can't hurt Bart! He's... well... he's your son!Willy: What?!Lisa: Well, not literally. But, in a way...isn't he everyone's son? For you see that little hellraiser is the spawn of every shriekingcommercial, every brain-rotting soda pop, every teacher who cares less about young minds than about cashing their big, fat paychecks. No, Bart's not to blame. You can't create a monster, and then whine when he stomps on a few buildings! I'm Lisa Simpson.
[Willy sniffles, then drops the fender.]
Willy: You're right. It's all Willy's fault! I've been a terrible father!I'm going to try to be a good example?! I believe in young people!kitten out x
Saturday 23 July 2011
end of an era (again)
well that's it - we sold the motorbike today - (again). Those of you who have known Alex and I for a long time will know that we have been here before. We have bought and sold numerous motorbikes over time. We sold this one because once again, we were challenged by Forge and therefore by God! You see, it was forge that encouraged us to buy it in a way. A series at the forge called God at the movies that looked at Toy Story 3 and encouraged and excited us to live more adventurously - if you look back several months you'll no doubt find me ranting about it! that's where the biking again, began! We have had alot of adventure and excitement and we knew that we'd need to slow it down before the end of the summer in order to free up cash for the next big adventures that life has to bring. So we sold the motorbike today, after a final farewell trip to Aldeburgh for chish and fips on Thursday night! I loved her and I'll miss her. I'll miss the little piece of me that loved having a motorbike. But I'm so excited about what God might have in store for us! she was good to us but the adventures continue, they change, but they never have to stop!
kitten out xx
kitten out xx
Sunday 3 July 2011
I'm getting a bit old for all this!
all what?? I hear you cry! well, we've been having a lovely social time! with adventures and excitement all over the place but I must say...it has made me poorly :-( lol
we have been to the circus, to my parents in Lancashire, to our friends in Bury st Eds for dinner, had a bbq here and went to an evening wedding reception. This amongst all the usual commitments (work, gym, small group etc). I haven't regretted a single moment of it but last weekend my cold started and despite getting a bit better earlier in the week it then returned and, hasn't left! I am very grateful that it's just a cold though!
This week brings a meeting in Debenham - which is very exciting - the gym and some work, though not much, so time to recuperate I think, phew!
still talking to people at church and everywhere else, praying and being loving to all my friends and family and through all of this God is blessing me greatly!
currently reading a book called "The Lord's Prayer" by R.T Kendall - very interesting! lots to think about!
also have been writing on the unofficial forge blog for a few weeks now - under the her corner! I enjoy doing it, but sometimes feel like it needs some fresh blood now! Ah well, we'll see!
watch this space!
kitten out!
we have been to the circus, to my parents in Lancashire, to our friends in Bury st Eds for dinner, had a bbq here and went to an evening wedding reception. This amongst all the usual commitments (work, gym, small group etc). I haven't regretted a single moment of it but last weekend my cold started and despite getting a bit better earlier in the week it then returned and, hasn't left! I am very grateful that it's just a cold though!
This week brings a meeting in Debenham - which is very exciting - the gym and some work, though not much, so time to recuperate I think, phew!
still talking to people at church and everywhere else, praying and being loving to all my friends and family and through all of this God is blessing me greatly!
currently reading a book called "The Lord's Prayer" by R.T Kendall - very interesting! lots to think about!
also have been writing on the unofficial forge blog for a few weeks now - under the her corner! I enjoy doing it, but sometimes feel like it needs some fresh blood now! Ah well, we'll see!
watch this space!
kitten out!
Sunday 19 June 2011
So at the moment my life feels extremely privileged! I have excellent food - excellent drink and I'm busy, but in the best ways possible. My work life is relatively stable and Church life is fabulous, Even my relationship feels solid. It's in this comfort that I find it difficult to keep this blog updated.
I guess, whilst it's true to say that I am busy, I think that lethargy sets in when I'm comfortable! That's why it's so pertinent that this week at small group/cell or whatever you like to call it - we started looking, at 1 Peter. We talked about suffering and it's significance in shaping a person and how it brings us as Christians closer in our walk with God. At church we have been looking at Mountain moments, but as we have said, before those elusive times there has to be a valley and a climb! So, as a group we discussed how good suffering and persecution actually are for our relationship with our heavenly father.
As such I guess I should be praying for suffering...but I don't know, maybe I'm just a little too lethargic. A little too comfortable. Another part of me feels, it's a bit like he's saying just do the walk - stop running ahead! the suffering actually will come soon enough - I feel a bit like God just can't win with me! When it's comfortable - when everything is fabulous - I wonder why? and wonder if I should be asking for suffering? in order that I have to pull closer and lean more on my heavenly father. However If I was in a dark awful place, I know that I'd be begging him to bring me back to this! Right back here. So I have decided to be content with and grateful for what I have right now. I do still walk alongside my LORD right now and I am doing what he asks of me. Still trying to be gentle, humble and accepting yet ready for adventure and suffering. I am trying to show the kind of generosity and kindness of spirit that would please my heavenly father. I can only do all this - in his will! I can only do this through him! In the words of a great film - "How do you change the world? one Act of Random Kindness at a time". So I guess that's where I'm at - I am joyful, I rejoice in every day that I am given. I love my life right now, I'm excited about the future. Knowing that he is beside me in everything - changes everything!
Can't wait for small group - next week!
kitten out x
I guess, whilst it's true to say that I am busy, I think that lethargy sets in when I'm comfortable! That's why it's so pertinent that this week at small group/cell or whatever you like to call it - we started looking, at 1 Peter. We talked about suffering and it's significance in shaping a person and how it brings us as Christians closer in our walk with God. At church we have been looking at Mountain moments, but as we have said, before those elusive times there has to be a valley and a climb! So, as a group we discussed how good suffering and persecution actually are for our relationship with our heavenly father.
As such I guess I should be praying for suffering...but I don't know, maybe I'm just a little too lethargic. A little too comfortable. Another part of me feels, it's a bit like he's saying just do the walk - stop running ahead! the suffering actually will come soon enough - I feel a bit like God just can't win with me! When it's comfortable - when everything is fabulous - I wonder why? and wonder if I should be asking for suffering? in order that I have to pull closer and lean more on my heavenly father. However If I was in a dark awful place, I know that I'd be begging him to bring me back to this! Right back here. So I have decided to be content with and grateful for what I have right now. I do still walk alongside my LORD right now and I am doing what he asks of me. Still trying to be gentle, humble and accepting yet ready for adventure and suffering. I am trying to show the kind of generosity and kindness of spirit that would please my heavenly father. I can only do all this - in his will! I can only do this through him! In the words of a great film - "How do you change the world? one Act of Random Kindness at a time". So I guess that's where I'm at - I am joyful, I rejoice in every day that I am given. I love my life right now, I'm excited about the future. Knowing that he is beside me in everything - changes everything!
Can't wait for small group - next week!
kitten out x
Tuesday 7 June 2011
Too much happening to sit down and write...until now anyway!
wow - what a couple of amazing wonderful weeks!
Lets start on the day after I last wrote! baptism, what a truly beautiful day it was too! - I had been feeling really panicky and nervous pretty much all morning but as soon as the service started I felt this calm descend upon me and I just got excited then and couldn't wait! I was quite right too, it was such a lovely feeling and to have so many friends around me too! then when I came out of the water Alex asked me if he should do it!! I was chuffed, of course he should! lol and off he went! so it was a double blessing really! I was grinning from ear to ear! my small group gave me a gorgeous card and prayed over me and even gave me a little present of a copy of a children's book of the Noah and the Ark story...if my testimony video goes on the website at some point I'll share the link and that will make a lot more sense! such an amazing day, even ended it with a random barbecue!
A week later saw Alex and I heading off on a trip to France. We will have been together for 9 years by next week! I know scary stuff, but we had never been abroad together, so off we went on our French adventure! It was amazing! we started out camping in a little town called Villers Sur Authie, we spent 2 nights here. On the first evening we went to a little beach town called Fort Mahon Plage, it was here I had my first (of many) really good quiche Lorraines - drroooolll . we spent the next day exploring the armistice clearance a few hours away in Compiegne. Which was very fascinating and quite sad in many ways. They have made the outside very beautiful though! Then we moved on to Chartres, with it's beautiful cathedral! this I think is where we relaxed into the French cafe culture a little especially sat in the main square with a drink! we explored the town a little and had a meal just outside a lovely little cafe facing the cathedral. We went back to our hotel for a rest before going out for the night to experience Chartres en Lumiere. If at this point you're going...what?? I recommend you google it. It was however a very beautiful and moving and late night! It got a little scary at the end as walking around a dark city you don't know can be, but being just a little out of your comfort zone increases the adventure. The next morning we explored the cathedral and stained glass museum before moving on to Chinon where we stayed in a hotel for 2 nights. Chinon, another great town with a lot of history - especially surrounding the wine caves and the chateau - both of which we explored and loved. I loved Chinon for it's cheery feel, even on the market - the traders were friendly and seemed pretty easy going. Finally we left Chinon for our final two nights camping in Neufchatel en Bray. This region is particularly known for its cheese and apple products and we spent a little time in farm shops sampling and buying some of the goods. Throughout France we managed to get by quite well with our French but it was here we struggled most when trying to find out what the difference was between certain cheeses and ask for a young one. Thankfully I finally remembered the word young from high school French as we had to describe ourselves several times in French. I still like to think of myself as a jeune fille, but I'll never be a Grande Fromage. However as neither of us could work out how to say "excuse me but your dog keeps trying to attack our car as we leave and may get run over" we had fun trying to leave that place I can tell you! Finally we returned home on Saturday! What an amazing blessing that trip has been though. Just to explore but still feel rested and have been able to slow down and be alone together. The weather was stonking, but you wouldn't know to look at me, a wise man once said (to music) wear sunscreen... so I do!
This week, God and I had some amazing time together at church and beyond. God is doing big things with me at the moment and it's all good (obviously).
We've also had time with Friends and family and I've just noticed tonight that it isn't slowing down, we've got barbecues and meals and trips up north and that isn't even the half of it. Still, it's got to be good to be surrounded by so many important, lovely people, especially when they actually want to spend time with you?!
Still speaking to people from Church,
Still Praying every day,
Still Growing and being challenged in my faith,
Still loving extravagantly and openly!
however also...still awake and writing this at 01:56 in the morning as unable to sleep! grrr. Never mind, not gonna get whingy now - too much to be too happy about and grateful for!
how about you? what's making you happy and grateful? hope theirs loads!
kitten out x
Lets start on the day after I last wrote! baptism, what a truly beautiful day it was too! - I had been feeling really panicky and nervous pretty much all morning but as soon as the service started I felt this calm descend upon me and I just got excited then and couldn't wait! I was quite right too, it was such a lovely feeling and to have so many friends around me too! then when I came out of the water Alex asked me if he should do it!! I was chuffed, of course he should! lol and off he went! so it was a double blessing really! I was grinning from ear to ear! my small group gave me a gorgeous card and prayed over me and even gave me a little present of a copy of a children's book of the Noah and the Ark story...if my testimony video goes on the website at some point I'll share the link and that will make a lot more sense! such an amazing day, even ended it with a random barbecue!
A week later saw Alex and I heading off on a trip to France. We will have been together for 9 years by next week! I know scary stuff, but we had never been abroad together, so off we went on our French adventure! It was amazing! we started out camping in a little town called Villers Sur Authie, we spent 2 nights here. On the first evening we went to a little beach town called Fort Mahon Plage, it was here I had my first (of many) really good quiche Lorraines - drroooolll . we spent the next day exploring the armistice clearance a few hours away in Compiegne. Which was very fascinating and quite sad in many ways. They have made the outside very beautiful though! Then we moved on to Chartres, with it's beautiful cathedral! this I think is where we relaxed into the French cafe culture a little especially sat in the main square with a drink! we explored the town a little and had a meal just outside a lovely little cafe facing the cathedral. We went back to our hotel for a rest before going out for the night to experience Chartres en Lumiere. If at this point you're going...what?? I recommend you google it. It was however a very beautiful and moving and late night! It got a little scary at the end as walking around a dark city you don't know can be, but being just a little out of your comfort zone increases the adventure. The next morning we explored the cathedral and stained glass museum before moving on to Chinon where we stayed in a hotel for 2 nights. Chinon, another great town with a lot of history - especially surrounding the wine caves and the chateau - both of which we explored and loved. I loved Chinon for it's cheery feel, even on the market - the traders were friendly and seemed pretty easy going. Finally we left Chinon for our final two nights camping in Neufchatel en Bray. This region is particularly known for its cheese and apple products and we spent a little time in farm shops sampling and buying some of the goods. Throughout France we managed to get by quite well with our French but it was here we struggled most when trying to find out what the difference was between certain cheeses and ask for a young one. Thankfully I finally remembered the word young from high school French as we had to describe ourselves several times in French. I still like to think of myself as a jeune fille, but I'll never be a Grande Fromage. However as neither of us could work out how to say "excuse me but your dog keeps trying to attack our car as we leave and may get run over" we had fun trying to leave that place I can tell you! Finally we returned home on Saturday! What an amazing blessing that trip has been though. Just to explore but still feel rested and have been able to slow down and be alone together. The weather was stonking, but you wouldn't know to look at me, a wise man once said (to music) wear sunscreen... so I do!
This week, God and I had some amazing time together at church and beyond. God is doing big things with me at the moment and it's all good (obviously).
We've also had time with Friends and family and I've just noticed tonight that it isn't slowing down, we've got barbecues and meals and trips up north and that isn't even the half of it. Still, it's got to be good to be surrounded by so many important, lovely people, especially when they actually want to spend time with you?!
Still speaking to people from Church,
Still Praying every day,
Still Growing and being challenged in my faith,
Still loving extravagantly and openly!
however also...still awake and writing this at 01:56 in the morning as unable to sleep! grrr. Never mind, not gonna get whingy now - too much to be too happy about and grateful for!
how about you? what's making you happy and grateful? hope theirs loads!
kitten out x
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