stress - more contagious than the flu!

yes it's true - I've caught it again!
STRESS!!!!
grrrowwwwl. This last few weeks at work have basically been a bit of a mare for most staff because it's that time   when hmi visit my work, that's right... (pause with dramatic music!) o f s t e d! (coded -incase they search routinely!!)
This has led to widespread panic and mass exodus from the vicinty - ok maybe not quite that dramatic but blimey the stress is just so apparent. It is literally weighing down on everyone, it's that whole elephant in the room thing. At the end of the day, though my main concern is that in an attempt to get a good grade those at the top appear to be mistreating some of those lower down the chain of command, at the very least they aren't feeling as supported at this crucial time as I (and they)think they need to be and I fear this kind of damage is the stuff that stays, even after the inspectors have left!
The stress is truly catching though, I'm not a teacher or a manager, I'm not directly in the line of fire and although I may well be observed I know I do my job to the best of my ability all the time and as such don't feel particularly worried for myself. And yet... I am sooo stressed out. I am literally writing this and dreading going in tomorrow! every little thing feels huge and sadly I am bringing this home. I am still desperately grasping on to staying gentle and acting out of love. I am still praying but...my anger is growing, anger for my colleagues...my friends who work soo very hard and yet this week are getting ill and collapsing in tears, anger for the students who...usually get such a positive atmosphere and yet that is falling apart - and for what???
I mean really what??
The college isn't failing?!! the success rates have only gone up! the teaching on the whole is still well praised by the students I come into contact with - I have seen brilliant practice in my time there and have literally been inspired to change my career as a result of the inspiring instructing of some of my friends! (you know who you are?) In a time when the threat of unemployment is constant, why - put all this extra work and stress on the teachers and lsws that already work so hard, and why do it in such a demotivating way? The memory of being put through this by smt, will last I fear - for a long time, how damaging??
on the plus side - I'm getting an I-POD?!! ooh get me, all 21st century ey??!! thank you hubby :-D
off to bed - to prepare via sleep!
good night all!
kitten out x

my guilty secret...

well it's been going on for over a year now, I've been... watching shameless. I don't admit this to everyone, it's not a very friendly program - it's explicit and violent and raw. But in all that grit, in all that filth there are the occasional glimpses of humanity! the characters are truly 3 dimensional. They are believable. I might not much like their reality, the beliefs that they live their life by, but the characters are real - the acting is brilliant and the writing keeps you on the edge the whole episode! so there we are, it's out my guilty secret - I am ashamed to admit that I love watching shameless!
In other news, I am back at work now - mostly better, the cough persists occasionally although the sore throat is less common, just can't have much dairy at the moment! The headache returns sometimes too but paracetamol sees to that, Alex was off work for two days though went back today! he isn't 100% yet but well enough, which is a start I suppose. I have a referral for hosp appt on the 27th of this month so throat could all be sorted by end of the month!
 The other day I attempted to make bread - normally I have to say - not too bad at that, genuinely - I can say with my head held high that I can do bread, I'm not good at everything, but bread - yep I got that one down! But not this time, in my defence the yeast was much older than it should have been and in an open packet. So yesterday Alex, using fresh yeast and a new recipe - tried again - but his was only vaguely better! is this a loaf shaped curse on our house? or are we simply out of practise? only time will tell - in the meantime the birds have a full supply of chewy hard bread to noch through!
hope you are all well and happy!
kitten out x
praying every day still going ok - not 100% of the time but almost!!

Bleugh - Flu!

So last Sunday night - just before bed, my throat started really hurting, by Monday morning I couldn't really speak and it even hurt when inhaling! So had to call in sick, as some of you may know this means I don't get paid anything! so doubly bad! Anyhoo, hoping it would fix itself I just snuggled down on the sofa and rested! By Wednesday it had turned into a cough, though still sore throat - I had to go to hospital about a cyst in my throat on Thursday anyway but he explained he couldn't feel one there anyway! so I've been referred for a scan, just to be sure - but he didn't think my sore throat was related. I was feeling a bit brighter though so back home and more rest, was willing to go to work on Friday morning - only to throw up at the end of a particularly bad coughing fit! Had a phone appointment with Doc and he said - oh, it's flu, can't give you anything unless you've had it for 2 weeks, so just rest - keep an eye on temperature etc. So here I am! stuck in! The Ducati is finally up and working, ready for adventures and I'm the one who is stuck indoors and broken and still not making any money - a whole weeks wages down the pan!! grrrrr - I am not good at being ill, in case you hadn't guessed??
ok so...brighter side - we had a meal with our friend matt a week ago on Friday, it was really lovely, he's just so accepting and warm and friendly, and he has a kitten called..wait for it..Maddy! (really) very beautiful little cat and lovely food!
Church is still rocking att he moment, can't get enough - it's all about family life at the mo - didn't think it would be very relevant given our childless situation but it did make the whole, family thing seem somehow less terrifying to me! It was a reminder that I wouldn't e alone in it all because I would have Alex, who can be a great leader and God would be with us all! Makes it all a lot less scary! Then again - watched one born every minute on Monday and it isn't half scary!!
Sometimes, I take for granted, everything that I have already - because we are constantly striving for the next step, so today I stood on the back step for a while and just stared across the fields and smiled at the beauty there is in the world, the flu cloud must be lifting!!
kitten out xx

so a new year and a few changes are afoot but not many!

well it was a hectic lovely wild Christmas and new year, we spent time with lovely amazing people who matter the most to us! we played games, ate, drank, slept and travelled. We laughed, ate a bit more, drank a bit more and sang and danced!
Christmas and New year was amazing and now it's time to move on, my promises for this new year are:-

1. pray every single day
2. I'm going to adventure more
3. I'm going to take time to hug and love the people who matter to me!
4. I'm going to talk to people at church

so far, so good! and the overall picture,

live more, adventure more, love harder and pray every single day!!

so there we are - I have shared, please feel free to ask me how it's all going throughout the year! x

Hope all you and yours are well and joyously happy,

maybe we should catch up soon?

kitten - out! xx